Finneran: I Assume You Agree That…

Friday, March 23, 2018
Tom Finneran, GoLocalWorcester MINDSETTER™

Bobby Orr is the greatest hockey player of all time;

The three greatest North American sports dynasties of all time are the Boston Celtics, the Montreal Canadiens, and the New York Yankees;

A real pitchers’ duel is much more entertaining than a slugfest;

The three best sandwiches of all time are peanut butter and jelly on white or wheat (with cold milk), grilled cheese and tomato on pumpernickel (with cold milk), and tuna salad on any kind of toast (with cold milk); an Italian sub with oil and vinegar gets a very honorable mention; as does a tomato sandwich with tomatoes just picked from your own garden;

Harvey Weinstein is a very ugly man;

ATMs and CDs are awesome inventions; so is on-demand;

Guys my age are very confused over which remote to use when watching television;

It’s nice when young grandchildren take mercy on their grandfather and show him which remote performs which function;

Men objectify women; for example, Giselle Bunchden is a beautiful woman;

Women objectify men; for example, Tom Brady is a handsome man;

And Harvey Weinstein is still a very ugly man;

After the initial objectifications, it’s a blessing to meet a person who is warm, kind, funny, and smart;

Three great final meals would be either a) mac and cheese, b) steak with a big baked potato and fresh peas, or c) broiled scallops and whole belly fried clams, all served with a vodka gimlet (Tito’s and Rose’s lime juice);

Dessert for that final meal would have to be molten chocolate lava cake with vanilla ice cream and a glass of ice-cold milk;

Harry Truman was one of the greatest Presidents of all time;

Civics should be taught in all schools;

Public libraries are a sign of an advanced civilization;

Four great pies are mince, cherry, peach, and blueberry;

New fallen snow on fields and trees is a beautiful sight;

Old fallen snow—dirty snow—is an eyesore (like Weinstein, only not as bad);

The Sports Illustrated cover jinx continues (see the March Madness edition with No. 1 seed Virginia on the cover. Say good night to Virginia, losing in the first round);

New England’s four seasons are delightful in their variety;

But one of the four (can you guess which one?) tends to make us a bit weary;

Despite the cattle car atmosphere and the occasional obnoxious passenger, air travel remains a modern miracle (a mere three hours to Florida and its beaches);

America is a great and greatly confused country;

Three great seasons are around the corner, bringing golf, baseball, and beach days back to our lives;

Enjoy the day!

P.S. Bonus round for baseball fans: you’re in the World Series with four consecutive games ahead—who are your four starters?

Tom Finneran is the former Speaker of the Massachusetts House of Representatives, served as the head the Massachusetts Biotechnology Council, and was a longstanding radio voice in Boston radio

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