Tom Finneran: Gywneth and Eva: Two Hollywood Ninnies

Friday, October 17, 2014
Tom Finneran, GoLocalWorcester MINDSETTER™

What is it about Hollywood stars? Are they all fools? Do they feel some sort of civic obligation to “educate” the rest of us about America and the world? Could these dolts even run a soup kitchen? And why pray tell, would anyone ever take political instruction from them? They are hopelessly out of touch elitists, pampered beyond words, wealthy beyond imagination, and as dumb as they come.

Apparently we must suffer their opinions because candidates hit the Hollywood trail on a regular basis, looking for money and seeking “celebrity” endorsements. The frequency of those candidate visits exposes the rest of us to the musings of these dopey philosopher kings and queens. Remind me to thank the media for their role as accomplices to these idiotic spectacles

This week’s Academy Award in the category of “Don’t reveal that you’re brain-dead” goes to Gywneth Paltrow and Eva Longoria. Yes ladies and gentlemen, as hard as it might be to imagine, Gwyneth’s vapid nonsense about President Obama was matched by Eva’s enormous stupidity about America.

Let’s start with Gwyneth who hosted a fundraiser for the President at her Hollywood home last week. After gushing in the embarrassing manner of a moon-struck twelve year old about how handsome our President is, she shared with the crowd of attendees that she could not even pretend to speak properly in his august presence. There was no accompanying report about Apple and Moses (her children) being embarrassed by their loony mom.

Upon recovering from the vapors Gywneth then went on to share with us two pearls of wisdom. Pearl number one is that Gwyneth is very concerned about “pay equity” as she is a “working mom”. I kid you not. A Hollywood star, who lives in a mansion and is paid millions of dollars a year describes herself as a working mom. There was no media report about the reaction from the domestic help---the maids, the handymen, the cooks, the chauffeurs, the butler, the bodyguards, the executive assistants, etc.

Of course Gwyneth, our lecturing scholar, had a second pearl to share, a pearl that suggested that we just give the President all the power that he needs in order “to do all the things that he wants to do” for us. How nice. How neat. How easy. Has she ever read a history book? Has she ever even heard of the Constitution? Once upon a time, when they used to teach civics in America’s public schools, America’s eighth graders would have laughed at Gwyneth’s doltish idea. I can only assume that the President blushed. By the way, the price tag to attend this cocktail and dinner extravaganza for working moms and dads was $32,000.00. That’s sure to keep you working for a long long time……………. 

I almost pity the poor President at these events---no candidate ever wants to embarrass the host and candidates rarely if ever challenge the thinking of their voters. The President, whom the Boston Globe once described as a “constitutional scholar”, surely knows the history and the enduring wisdom of checks and balances upon the three branches of government. Gwyneth, the Great Giver of Laws, apparently dissents.

You dear reader might now ask how such idiocy might be matched? I can assure you that Eva Longoria was not conceding the brain-dead spotlight to Gwyneth. Eva reached into her bag of tricks and pulled out the card that accuses America, alone among all the nations of the world, of promoting “mono-lingualism”. Wow. Who knew?

Not only is her charge untrue regarding America. It is also untrue regarding other countries, many of which proudly promote a single specific language. Does she forget her marriage to Tony Parker? It happened in France where he was raised and where, shockingly, the official language is French. Has she ever been to Spain (official language Spanish) or to Germany (official language German)? Can she recall her childhood years in Texas, a state in which Spanish is spoken as freely and as frequently as English?  Indeed, I suspect that Texas, along with many other States, has a foreign language requirement in order to graduate from high school. Where is the American mono-lingual obsession which she perceives? Eva of course now lives in Hollywood, which is in California, and which could rightly be called the Land of Lunatics. Eva fits right in to this most American of states, where drivers’ tests are given in thirty one different languages! This is monolingual? 

Here’s some not-so-monolingual language for Gwyneth and Eva---Oy vey. What ninnies.

Tom Finneran is the former Speaker of the Massachusetts House of Representatives, served as the head the Massachusetts Biotechnology Council, and was a longstanding radio voice in Boston radio.